Best thing I read in a while: „Houseplants of Gor“
Bartholomew Gallacher That’s life; I was looking for nothing in particular and stumbled upon a small writing called "Houseplants of Gor" in a forum. In short it is a parody of Norman’s writing style and philosophy at all, quite funny to read. So, here we go:
The spider plant cringed as its owner brought forth the watering can.
"I am a spider plant!" it cried indignantly. "How dare you water me
before my time! Guards!" it called. "Guards!"Borin, its owner, placed the watering can on the table and looked at it. "You will be watered," he said.
"You do not dare to water me!" laughed the plant.
"You will be watered," said Borin.
"Do not water me!" wept the plant.
"You will be watered," said Borin.
I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor
it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which
distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and
waterer to go unh appy and constrained, which forbids the fulfillment
of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would
not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its
true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at
will. Such is the way with plants.